What Would A Superhero Do?

It was a little after midnight. I was headed to bed when I heard loud screaming and crying coming from outside the front of my apartment.

I peaked out my window to see a man and woman having a heated argument across the street. She was very upset.  He was grabbing her, taunting her and being very aggressive.

My first thought was to dial 911. I hesitated after recalling a recent experience I’d had with the police.

I had called 911 after witnessing a strange man kicking in our back gate, wandering around the back yard in a very agitated manner and entering our garages that we used for storage. Five hours after my call, the police called back asking if the intruder was still there and if they still needed to come.

Great, I thought as I watched the couple argue, I’m going to have to go over there and kick this guy’s ass.

No, wait, that wouldn’t work because I was scared to death.

Damn it. I knew I had to do something. But what?

Then I remembered a television show I had watched where they staged different scenarios with actors and set up hidden cameras to see how people would behave.

One of the scenarios was a couple in a park having a heated argument. 92 men were captured by their cameras. Just five of them did anything to help. Out of 100 women, 14 intervened, stopped or dialed 911.

I got emotional as I watched a group of four women deal with the situation. They didn’t approach the couple, but instead kept their distance, stood their ground and acknowledged what was happening by telling the man to leave the woman alone. They threatened to call the police if he didn’t stop.

It was an epiphany to realize there are many ways to respond to a funky situation. It’s rarely black and white. The presence of those four women and their acknowledgment of the situation was powerful.

I once read a story about a woman who was raped in front of a high rise apartment building. Something like 30 or more people witnessed the rape and murder of this woman from various apartments and did nothing. Their common response was I thought someone else would do something.

Reading the grand jury report connected to the recent Penn State sex scandal, one thing was consistent and disappointing. Not one person who saw or suspected something stepped up and called the police.

I get it. Speaking up is hard to do. But…

Fuck that.

We have to start speaking up about the things we find unjust in the world even if it means risk of being wrong or looking like a fool. I’m not saying you should put yourself in physical danger.

What I am saying is to pause when you see something unjust happening. Think outside the box, entertain unorthodox or uncommon options, consider a small action if a big one is too overwhelming.

Ask yourself…

What would a superhero do?

…then SPEAK UP, DO SOMETHING!!!

As for me and the events of the night. I went out on my front porch and stood there looking directly at them to let them know I was a witness to what was going on.

I felt like an idiot, but I stood my ground.

I wasn’t sure what I would do if it got more physical. I thought of yelling, making a ruckus to let them and anyone else who heard me know, this wasn’t cool.

Within a couple of minutes, the woman’s parents appeared from a nearby apartment building. After a few words and resistance from their daughter, they took her inside leaving the guy to go on about his business.

Maybe me standing there had no impact. But because I stepped outside my comfort zone, I hope the next time I’m in a situation where I need to step up, it will be a tiny bit easier to do it.

What about you? Have you ever been in a situation where you had to step up?