What the hell is this!?! –>

As my friend said, the only thing this magazine cover is good for, is as an example of nipple washing.

If this is how we define motherhood than it’s bullshit!

If we judge women who never want to have kids, then motherhood is bullshit!

If we feel like we have to stay silent about the shitty parts of being a mother, than motherhood is bullshit!

The status quo, a.k.a. advertisers and the media, want us to buy into their self-serving views of what it means to be valuable as a woman and quite frankly I’m over it.

It’s time for a revolution. A CHICK revolution! Where we give the finger to how “they” say things should be.

I know many of the messages we are bombarded with are a mind fuck, and yet, I still feel myself affected by them every day.

Be pretty.

Be thin.

Be rich.

Be worldly.

Be the perfect mom.

Put yourself last.

Smile.

Do everything…

Screw falling in line. Who says we have to bow to the pressure to conform?

As Seth Godin said in his book Tribes:

I don’t think we have any choice. I think we have an obligation to change the rules, to raise the bar, to play a different game, and to play it better than anyone has any right to believe possible.

Thanks to Time magazine and Mother’s Day I chose to focus on motherhood, but really it’s bigger than that.

No you don’t have to be married to be worthy.

No you don’t have to be a size two to be worthy.

It’s okay to not want kids.

It’s okay to have days where you question becoming a mom.

It’s okay to fuck up as a mother, shit you’re human, it doesn’t mean you’re not “mom enough”.

It’s okay to feel all of these or none of these.

All you have to be is you.

The cute part of you, the not so cute part of you, the brilliant part of you, the struggling part of you, the strong part of you, the weak part of you.

Embrace all of you and you are seriously good to go.

What do you think of this Time magazine cover?  Share your thoughts in the comments below.

The other morning, I lay in bed searching for answers to the many questions I have in my life right now. Amongst all the chatter in my head, I heard a faint whisper from my higher voice.

Enter the batcave!

Of course, I thought, there’s always answers in the batcave. Now, I have to admit, my visits have been non-existent lately.
So much to do, so many thoughts, endless running around. I feel like I barely have time to breath sometimes.

Do you ever feel like this?

I’ve learned when overwhelm hits, is when I most need to make regular visits to the batcave.  Since we’ve already talked about How To Make Your Very Own Batcave, I thought we’d explore the next obvious question…

What the hell do I do in my batcave?

For me, it’s my place to interface with the Universe. I can get some pretty awesome answers to my questions when I get connected.

So how do you get connected?  I’ve found the best way is to meditate.

I like to keep it simple. Here’s what I do…

GET QUIET
This is all about being relaxed. Surround yourself with things that nurture you. I burn some essential oils. Light a candle. Cover myself with a blanket if I’m cold and just release my daily worries to the ether while I sit.

Making this a ritual helps get your body and mind into the proper state for meditation.

FOCUS ON YOUR BREATH
This is as easy as taking a few deep breaths. You’d be amazed how often we go through our day without sucking in a good chunk of air. Try it right now and see how it energizes you.

Breath in deeply through your nose, hold if for a couple of seconds and then let it all go out through your mouth. Do this three or four times.

GO INWARDS
Continue to focus on your breath as you bring it back to what feels like a natural rhythm for you. If possible breath in and out through your nose. Notice how your breath feels as it enters your lungs. Feel your chest and stomach rise and fall.

Then sit quietly, embrace the stillness and listen closely.

When first starting to meditate I recommend doing just five minutes.  The only thing you might hear in the beginning is the chatter of your mind. It can feel very uncomfortable initially and if you try to sit for too long you may get discouraged and give up. Kind of like Julia Robert’s character in this scene from Eat Pray Love…

…but stick with it. Eventually a quiet but steady voice will emerge.

And this is where the magic happens.

At first the voice may appear as small knowings. But if you stick with it they will slowly become larger knowings over time. I like to call them flashes of insight.

The most important thing when strengthening your connection to the Universe is to meditate regularly. Doing five minutes every day is much better than doing thirty minutes once or twice a week.

Connecting to the Universe through meditation is like exercising. You have to work it on the regular in order to see real benefits.

Once you get the hang of it, ask a question you want an answer to right before you start meditating. In no time at all you’ll be getting regular flashes of brilliance direct from your sidekick, the Universe.

This past Sunday the Los Angeles Clippers played their first game in this season’s NBA playoffs against the Memphis Grizzlies.

If you’re not a sports fan hang with me for a second…

They were down by 24 points in the fourth quarter. This is “usually” an insurmountable gap to close.

The coach had given up and started pulling his star players off the floor. His thinking, I’ll save them for game two.

People switched the game off, thinking it was done.

“Let me go back in, it’s not over” Chris Paul, one of the Clipper stars pleaded.

The coach gave in.

The starters went back in the game.

The Clippers won 99 to 98!

I share this story with you so you can remember it whenever you’re struggling.  Never give up!

I know this may sound corny, but I don’t give a shit.

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

I don’t care that I may not know you personally, I know in my bones you can do whatever you put your mind to as long as you NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!

I don’t care if you fail over and over again.

NEVER GIVE UP!

I don’t care if you lose your arms and your legs…

NEVER GIVE UP!

I don’t care if you are about to die…

…Unless you are dead…

EVER!

Got an astonishing story about someone who never gave up? Share it with us in the comments.

As a kid I would Hulk Out pretty often. I was your typical adolescent boy with a temper. I wanted things my way.

Reality hit pretty hard when I got older and I realized having things go my way all the time was never going to happen. As an adult I learned not to allow my frustrations to turn me into a big green monster, but instead use the energy from that frustration to gain something positive.

A lot can be learned from the Incredible Hulk, aka Mr. Bruce Banner, but let’s face it, he still has some identity and rage issues.

His cousin Jennifer, on the other hand, offers us a whole lot more to learn from when embracing our own super strength.

She-Hulk, as she is affectionately referred, is poisoned from the same gamma radiation as her cousin, but she maintains control. Her strength is still based in rage, but she can focus her energy and utilize it for good.

click image to enlarge

Jennifer isn’t just a superhero; she realizes there is more to a superhero than brute strength.  She also works as a lawyer helping to find justice for her clients, although that might mean beating up a bad guy or girl on occasion too.

Anger is one of those emotions we’ve been taught not to express. But here at whoisCHICK we don’t think that’s healthy. We’re not saying you should run around beating everyone up, but acknowledging what we are feeling is important. Our emotions give us feedback about what we need to pay attention to.

She-Hulk is a great example of how we can focus the anger, we all have inside, to benefit us.

+ Acknowledge it.
+ Express it in a constructive way. Kai likes to swear. As she often says, “swearing is fucking cathartic.”
+ Once you’re more centered, look at what made you angry and see if it’s your inner wisdom trying to tell you something.

As She-Hulk demonstrates, anger can be a powerful tool for change.

How do you deal with anger? Tell us your experiences in the comments.

Tony is the Producer of Marketing and Distribution for CHICK. You can follow him on Twitter @AlbaneseTR or visit his website MaximumBeta.

This weeks blog post is in honor of Earth Day.

Every year on April 22nd Earth Day is celebrated as an opportunity to show how important the environment is to us.

It is intended to be a day for action.

There are many ways to be more environmentally friendly in your daily life. A great list of simple actions can be found here.

We thought we’d switch it up a bit for our homage to Earth Day and focus on reconnecting with Mother Earth.

I find it’s a lot easier to be motivated to do things that preserve her beauty if you live from a place of recognition and appreciation for the connectedness of all things

Check out the video below for a simple superhero mission you can do to participate in Earth Day. I shot this video on the spur of the moment, I hope you enjoy the magic despite the quality.

Five Ways To Honor The Earth In Under A Minute

If you can’t take ten or fifteen minutes to do our simple superhero mission, here are five suggestions for reconnecting that won’t take more than a minute.

It’s all about baby steps as we commit to fighting for the health of our planet…

Hug a tree

Take a deep breath

Smell a flower

Look up at the sky

Rescue an insect that lost its way and ended up in your house

Remember Earth Day is every day!

Today’s Tweetable

What do you do to show love to Mother Earth? Share with us in the comments.

What do me driving in my car, a cute young woman walking down the sidewalk and two guys waiting at a bus stop have in common?

In the middle of the afternoon last Tuesday, our paths crossed at the corner of La Brea and Washington Blvd.

I was stopped at the red light.

The two guys were shooting the shit waiting for their bus.

The young girl was walking toward the bus stop.

The guys continued to talk as they eyed the girl approaching.

The girl got a slightly uncomfortable look on her face, aware she had just become eye candy.

I watched as, head down, she walked past the two guys and continued along the sidewalk.

Their conversation immediately stopped as they stood there staring at her ass.

She knew they were staring at her ass even though they never said a word to her.

I started laughing as I watched the guys.  There were transfixed.  Unable to move.  Unable to talk.

Damn!  I thought.  This would be a great superpower if you could use it for something better than rendering guys speechless for a few minutes.

Now I know there are women who use their beauty and physical attributes to get a lot of things in life.  But that’s a whole other discussion…

After this serendipitous encounter I asked myself:

How can we take situations and attitudes that have conditioned us
to feel weak and flip the script?

That girl felt compelled to perform a submissive act by dropping her head as she walked by those two guys.

Have you ever done that?  I know I have.

For a long time I wasn’t even aware I did it.  It was so automatic.  My main focus was always to avoid any forward advances and get away as quickly as possible.

Granted, I never knew whether that was a man’s intention, but just in case it was, I thought if I dipped my head he might get the message and move on without incident.

“Please don’t bother me”, was what my head dip was saying.

The thing is, in hindsight, I realize all I was really doing was giving my power away.  If the guy did have plans to try and chat to me, my going all submissive like that just made him feel more power-full because I had essentially rendered myself power-less.

Once I became aware of what I was doing I got angry.

Why the fuck do I have to dip my head every time a guy is walking towards me?

And that was the end of the head dip.

At first I had to fight the impulse to dip.  So I got all radical.  I decided I was going to stare at the crotch of every guy I encountered coming toward me on the sidewalk.  I know, I know, kinda out there, but sometimes you gotta go extreme before you can find middle.

What I realized from that experiment was guys feel just as uncomfortable and powerless as we do when you objectify them like that.  Who knew!

Once I worked through my initial anger, I realized I didn’t need to feel superior to a guy, I just needed to feel equal and able to stay in my own power.

I wanted to be able to walk by a man and smile just because it’s a friendly gesture.

I wanted to be able to engage with men I encountered without worrying about being in an inferior position.

I especially wanted to do it in situations where I knew a guy was going to try and “chat” to me.  I wanted to see if I could change the dynamic.

So when a guy approached me, instead of dipping my head or staring at their crotch, I looked them in the eye and smiled.  Sometimes I even initiated the conversation to have some influence in how the interaction was going to go down.

Wow!  Is all I can say.  It was like a whole new world opened up to me.  The blinders came off.  I felt freer and more confident.  It changed all my interactions.

Now I know this example highlights a sexual dynamic between men and women, but really a similar scenario can be experienced in any situation where you feel inferior.  It could be with your boss or an overbearing parent or a random stranger.

How you physically carry yourself is the starting point for the dynamic you set up in your interactions with others. .

So back to our young woman.  She chose to act small because those two guys stood there enjoying the nice view of her ass.

Yes, it would be preferable that they didn’t look at her like a piece of meat, but guess what?  We can’t control other people’s behavior, we can only control our own.

So instead, I say embrace the power of your ass and let that power travel through the rest of your being.

Own the fact that you look good in those cute pair of jeans you decided to put on today.  Don’t let someone else’s behavior determine how you’re going to walk in the world.

Hold your head high.

Stand tall.

Smile.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”

Use the power of ass as a reminder.  You are the shit and no one else should ever tell you or make you feel otherwise.

What about you? Where does your power stem from? How do you walk in the world?

I was meditating the other day and as soon as I got relaxed and centered a very simple message came to me.

“Drink water!”

I had been thinking I need to hydrate more for a while, so my higher voice confirming this wasn’t a surprise.

The surprise came with the next message I received.

“Tell everyone else too.”  So…

DRINK WATER!

Why Drink Water?

Most of us know drinking water is good for us but we’re not so clear on the reasons why.  Here’s what I found scouring the internet:

• Life can’t exist without water.
• The body is made up of 60-70 percent water.
• Three days without water and you will kick the bucket.

Water Helps You Stay Energized

• Lack of water is one of the main causes of daytime fatigue.
• Even mild dehydration can affect your energy level.
• If you are thirsty you are already dehydrated.
• One symptom of dehydration can be headaches. Before you pop a pain killer try drinking some water first.

Water Cleanses Your Insides

• Water helps remove toxins and waste from the body.
• Consistent failure to drink enough water can leave the body’s cells in a weakened state and more vulnerable to disease.

How Much Water Should You Drink?

There are lots of theories out there.

The one that made most sense to me, because it’s directly related to your personal body make up, is to drink half your body weight in ounces of water every day.

So if you weigh 130 pounds you should drink 65 ounces of water every day.

If you sweat due to exercise or the climate, you should drink more.

Drink enough water all year long, this isn’t just a hot weather issue.

How To Drink Enough Water Each Day

I put the amount of ounces I want to drink for the day in one container. When it’s empty I know I’ve drunk enough water.

I continuously get distracted throughout the day which means I’m always forgetting to drink my water.

I resorted to setting a stop watch to go off every fifteen minutes. When it beeps I take three or four sips of water. This simple, daily task makes drinking enough water each day so much easier.

I also have a rule that until I’ve drunk enough water for the day I can’t drink anything else. I like a hot drink in the morning so I heat up some of the water in my container and sip on that in the morning.

Water and Superheroes

You may be asking what the heck does this have to do with being a superhero. As superheroes our goal is to nurture our bodies so we can live up to our fullest potential.

Drinking more water is a simple way to nurture your superhero temple.

Water Changes Everything

Want to help CHICK take drinking water global?

We just donated $50 to charitywater.org, a non-profit organization bringing clean and safe drinking water to people in developing countries. Check them out here.

Can’t donate?  Then just share the love and remind others to drink more water too.

So how much water do you drink? Tell us in the comments and if you donate to charity water share that in the comments too. It may inspire someone else to do the same.

I love sports!

Why?

Because sports are so much like life.

They’re unpredictable.

You experience great highs and lows.

The mental game has a huge impact on how well you perform.

I especially love watching elite athletes.  They drop lots of hints on how to realize your greatness, if you listen closely.

This past weekend Tiger Woods won a PGA tour golf tournament.  Now, to those of you who don’t follow golf and simply know he’s a good golfer, you might think bit whoop!  He wins all the time.

Except, the last time Tiger won a PGA tournament was September 13, 2009!

That’s 924 days!

For a genius of the game I can only imagine how painful that drought must have been.

Lots went down in Tiger’s life during those two and a half years.

• He suffered major injuries that required surgery and could have been career ending.
• He cheated on his wife with countless women and was publicly outed.
• He lost several of his sponsors as a result of the scandal.
• He took a break from professional golf and checked into a sex-rehab clinic.
• His wife filed for divorce.
• He replaced his caddy and his coach.

Woo!  That’s a bunch of shit!  Not to mention being bombarded by the media, attacked for his indiscretions and questioned for making changes to his game.

And yet he persevered.

Here are seven lessons on realizing greatness I’ve learned from watching Tiger navigate the ups and downs.

EMBRACE CHANGE

Tiger has changed his swing four times during his career.

Each time he changed, he was at the height of the game.

Each time he changed, he struggled while adjusting to the changes.

Each time he changed, he was criticized and predicted to never get back to his previous level of play.

Tiger made these changes because he believed them necessary to getting better as a player.

But think about how much courage it takes to make a change to something that most already think is great.  This kind of change guarantees failure before any signs of success show up.

Push yourself outside your comfort zone and actively engage with change as a way to grow and evolve as a superhero.

GIVE THE FINGER TO THE NAYSAYERS & NON-BELIEVERS

This may seem obvious but be honest.  How often are you affected by people questioning your choices?  Does it put doubt in your mind?

Elite athletes seem to have an invisible force-field around them that blocks doubt from entering their minds.  Granted being stubborn and cocky helps, but I’m a believer that a little cockiness never hurt anyone.  No one knows better than you what is best for you.

Create an invisible force-field around you that blocks out the haters.

HAVE AN UNDYING WILL TO WIN a.k.a. UNWAVERING DETERMINATION

Have you ever met someone who was on a mission?  You could literally feel the determined energy wafting off them in a way that let you know nothing was going to stop them until they succeeded.

Tiger has this in spades.

I’ve heard other athletes go into competition stating things like, “I’m happy if I finish in the top ten” or “It would be great to make the finals.”

Tiger has only one goal…”I play to win.”  It’s not just the goal to win, but the focus and determination you feel every time he’s asked what an acceptable finish would be.

Whatever your mission is, don’t half ass it, commit to it with every cell of your being.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

When Tiger is in a slump and headed into a tournament, reporters love to ask him who he thinks the favorite is to win the tournament.  I guess they think since he’s playing badly he should acknowledge someone else as the favorite.

Without blinking an eye his response is always the same.

“I believe in myself.” ‘Nuff said.

ACCEPT YOU CAN BE GREAT AND SUCK TOO

Tiger is one of the greatest golfers to ever play the game.  Most won’t argue this.  He is a golfing genius.

His skills as a husband are another thing.  They lean heavily on the sucking side.

Humans were not made to be perfect.  Even those of us who have claimed the superhero life can never achieve perfection.  We have to accept our crap, but we also can’t let that crap negate our greatness.

All superheroes have a weakness, they just don’t let it stop them.

EVICT THE NEGATIVE VOICE FROM YOUR HEAD

Sometimes we don’t even need outside criticism to bring us down.  We do it all by ourselves. I’ve definitely seen this happen with lesser athletes.  The mind can psyche you out before you’ve ever had a chance to win.

I love listening to Tiger talk when he’s just finished a bad round.  Negative self-talk like “I sucked” is nowhere to be found.  His analysis of his performance remains constructive.  He talks about what went wrong, why and what needs work.  He also mentions what went well, even if he wasn’t asked.

Every time a negative thought enters your mind, replace it with a positive one, until positive thoughts are the norm.

STAY OPEN-MINDED

It’s no secret athletes struggle with their egos.  Shoot, I’d struggle with my ego too if I was bombarded with the adoration they receive.

It may be frustrating to watch but I’ve learned throwing the baby out with the bathwater doesn’t serve me.

If I cut Tiger off every time he did something stupid I’d have missed all these lessons I just shared with you.  I may not agree with all his choices but so what.

There’s always more to be gained from staying open, than shutting down.

What lessons have you learned from people at the top of their game? Tell us in the comments

Have you ever asked yourself what makes you powerful?

In my personal quest for world domination I ask myself this question a lot.  I think about my own traits, my talents both measurable and intangible, and I wonder…

Where does my power come from?

I’ve decided it comes from my ability to maintain fun in my surroundings.  I am very serious about my ambitions, my education, finding the right job, and all of those other tangible accomplishments we use to define ourselves.

But my biggest strength is my fun.  I can stay light in most situations, and with smile and laughter, engage a room.

What does this have to do with Kick-Ass CHICKs in Fiction?

First, if you’ve read our Superhero Starter Manual you know one of the traits superheroes need to cultivate is a sense of humor. This superpower can disarm your enemy with one flash of your smile. It can also lift up those who are struggling.

In fiction, there is one kick-ass CHICK who is the embodiment of this trait. Even in the wake of the most deadliest danger, she won’t allow a pun to go unnoticed.  Slaying vampires is impressive, but this superCHICK’s true power is her ability to stay sane and not forget our best medicine, laughter.

Of course by now you know I’m talking about Buffy Summers.

(click image to enlarge)

Buffy is noted as a cliché among female heroines.  She’d surely be in the top couple of answers if Family Feud did a category of female superwomen.

What’s cool is, her strength doesn’t come from her physical talents, but from her ability to connect with people through humor.  In dangerous situations laughter makes us feel safe.  It’s the super power I most relate with.

So what about you? What makes you powerful? How do you use humor in your life? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Tony is the Producer of Marketing and Distribution at CHICK.  You can follow him on Twitter @AlbaneseTR or visit his website Maximum Beta.

A few years ago I went on a solo vacation to Maui. I had been working non-stop for months and desperately needed some down time.

As soon as I stepped off the plane I made a conscious choice to let go of all my stress, relax and live in the present moment.

Then interesting things started to happen…

Driving along the winding mountain road my first day there, I remembered I wanted to walk a labyrinth while in Maui. In my rush, I’d forgotten to research where one might be before I left. Within a minute of that thought I came to an intersection and there, in the middle of nowhere, on the side of the road was a small sign. “Labyrinth this way” with an arrow pointing to the right.

Wow that’s cool, I thought.

The next day, coming back from grocery shopping, I realized I’d forgotten to get lemons for the fish I had planned to cook that night. Annoyed but too far up the mountain to turn back I accepted my fate of fish with no lemons.

When I arrived back at my accommodations, the owner of the property had been mowing the lawn, picked up some lemons that had fallen from their lemon tree and placed them on my porch. He told me he thought I would like them.

Awesome!

Another day, driving along a scenic ocean highway on the other side of the island I thought wouldn’t it be cool to see some whales. Suddenly the traffic came close to a standstill. What the heck was going on, I thought? Sure enough, what did I see a couple of minutes later? A family of whales frolicking in the ocean right beside me.

Whoa!  Something was definitely up. It was like I’d synced up with the Universe’s help line and my every desire was being granted.

The synchronicities and guidance continued like this throughout my vacation. It was pure magic.

Since that trip I’ve tried to figure out how I can recreate that connection to the universe in my everyday life.

It’s not easy. Stress, worry, rushing around and not having time to just stop, breath and get centered creates a lot of interference.

Still, despite the challenges, I have found small ways to chat with the universe on the regular.  I don’t think there’s a better sidekick for a superhero than the big U!

Stay Aware

I’ve realized the universe talks to me all the time. But if I’m wrapped up in my thoughts or have my nose in my cell phone, I miss the conversations.

Ask For Guidance

Asking the universe for help with a specific problem or question you’re struggling with is how you can start the conversation. The universe is always ready to help. Just ask.

Stay Open

Signs can often show up in packages that don’t look familiar or make sense or feel comfortable. Be open to solutions and opportunities you would never have come up with on your own.

Look For Signs

It’s kind of crazy how many signs the universe puts in front of us. I bet if we were really tuned in we’d see almost everything we encounter is a sign of some sort.

Here are some I’ve experienced:

Coyotes: There was a period when coyotes were showing up in my life so much I looked up what they meant symbolically. Turns out coyotes are often called the trickster. They are considered a sacred symbol and are telling you to develop a sense of humor and not take yourself too seriously.

Radio & Television: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve randomly turned on the radio or television and been hit with a message from whatever program was playing at that moment.

Signs & Billboards: I remember during a really tough time in my life I was desperate for some sort of spiritual guidance. One day I walked into a store and saw a poster in the window that caught my eye. The poster was for a talk by a woman with a unique approach to meditation. I attended the lecture and ended up practicing that mediation technique for a couple of years. It helped me work through a lot of anger I was struggling with at the time.

Look For Repetition

I have a rule. If something crosses my path more than once, it means the universe is telling me to pay attention. Often this shows up as different people, mentioning the same thing to me.

The Scientist Who Became a Matchmaker
Recently, a man I barely knew expressed he wanted to set me up on a date with his friend. It was so odd, given how little we knew each other that I hesitated and then said no. He came back more persistent. I paused feeling I was supposed to breath before making a final decision. Why was he so passionate about something that wouldn’t really benefit him? He wrote me another email as I pondered. This scenario had never happened to me before. He had written three passionate messages in a very short period of time. It felt like one of those odd opportunities from the universe and so I said yes. The romantic connection didn’t work out but the dates I had with the man I got set up with left a lasting impression. It opened up my world and I learned a lot about myself that will impact me for the rest of my life.

Read it!  Read it! Read it!
I’m currently reading a book called 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami.
I’d never heard of this author before picking up this book. Why am I reading it? Because it kept crossing my path. As I surfed the web it would pop up. A lot! I took it as a sign. And now I’m in the middle of reading this amazing book I would never have chosen on my own.

Chatting with the universe like this is so much fun. It can add adventure, excitement and possibility to your world.

How about you? Have you gotten signs from the universe? Did you act on them or ignore them? Share your thoughts in the comments below.